hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
there's paper in my vomit.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
