If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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