careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
