i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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