Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
