can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
