i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
