So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
