haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
