It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
