I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
