woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
