You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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