see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
