Three words: puerto rican gang bang
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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