Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
