Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
