I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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