Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
