:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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