Pants 0. Shit 1.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
