In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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