Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
being pregnant is like rehab
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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