at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
