I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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