mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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