I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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