i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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