carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We're too hungover to prance.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You left your phone here
Wait...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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