My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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