i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
