so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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