It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Welp...herpes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Randomize
