Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
