I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
