I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
