why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
