I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
