Porn is love you can see.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize