She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
