As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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