Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
