we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
