A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
