dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I could make wine with my vomit
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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