Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Drunk is not a location!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
