who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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