puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
