I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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