I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
