In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
